I am not a drinker but do enjoy marijuana recreationally (possession is legal where I live). I have kids so I dont do it around them (they are buzz killers, anyway). I am feeling conflicted about doing it now because I the oldest is 13. We are pretty open about everything,and have talked a lot about drugs but he has never asked me about my drug use. I dont know what I would say. I dont like pharmaceuticals. I think life is complicated and we are entitled to change out mental state on occasion. Some people should not touch the stuff. But I have managed to function at a pretty high level and I am lucky to have healthy relationships for the most part.
I am on generic Prozac (fluoxetine), for OCD. I have always hated the idea of popping pills but this disorder was too consuming and made me feel like too much of my everyday life was being spent in torment of trying to get everything "perfect" and just-so. It has been positively beneficial to me as I could finally breathe and live in a way that I felt was normal. Every now and then I think it's all in my head and that I don't need the stuff. So I taper off slowly over a long period of time. After a few months off the drug I revert back to the same torture I experienced before. And then slowly start back on again and pretty soon...I feel normal again and at peace with the normality around me that previously seemed more like chaos.
Caffeine.If I don't get my tea every 15 hours or so, I get a nasty headache.....
After 9 months in a Recovery program called Celebrate Recovery which is sweeping the nation I have seen that.... Any drug use is a means to dull the internal pain and stay in denial and wear a mask that everything is really okay.I had a 5 year addiction I was not even aware of as it was a prescribed minor tranquiliser called Lorazepam...which I was told was for panic attacks and PTSD so I didnt question it. We need to ask ourselves WHY ? What is the root cause of me wanting to numb out...there is always a root of pain usually from an emotonal trauma or wounding in childhood and once we deal with the root our addictions are no longer necessary!Thank God for the FREEDOM I have found thru recovery and that the bad roots have been pulled out....now I have a garden where flowers grow, where Sunshine sparkles on dew drops and rainbows smile...Life is good free of addiction masks and denial! Wishing you all Peace, Love,Joy and Freedom! xoxo
Blogs. Just blogs.Sigh.
Lexapro and Ambien and have tried every combination anyone can imagine. Dont love being on them but it sure beats being hospitalized for stress.
My Aunt, she's 72 or so, we think she's been addicted to pain killers for at least 30 years or more. In her later years it's only become worse. Due to an accident she had a year ago it's only gotten worse. We've discovered my uncle is feeding the addiction too, so he's a part of the problem. He's been banned from hospitals when she's there because he brings her extra meds. They've had an intervention at the hospital with her doctor. When she's hospitalized and my uncle stays away she's good, coherent, almost normal, but when she gets to her extra stashes she's bad. Falls asleep at the drop of a hat in mid-sentence. This accident that she had, I'm sure it's a result of the pills. It's awful, it's sad, I feel sorry for her daughters because she's made herself a burden on them, something I know she never wanted to be. I think her main drug of choice is Oxycontin, but she has many. I watched Dad die from cancer and saw what relief it can bring. I've also seen what trauma it can bring to an addict.
is sugar a drug?
A giant cappuccino first thing in the morning, a diet coke for lunch....that's it.Have a scrip for clonazepam...I call them my "funeral" pills...and that's pretty much the only time I take one, got them when I lost my dad to liver failure. Used to "party" a lot more than I do now...losing friends and loved ones (lost a dear girlfriend less than a year after I lost dad) to toxed out livers completely completely changed how I feel about booze and drugs.My SIL's days are numbered, she's washing down scrip drugs with vodka, I don't see her because I can't watch one more person die of liver failure. Wheww...heavy stuff.
Food is my drug of choice. Lately I've been enjoying saffron rice and chocolate ice cream cones,-- not together. Sleep is my real favorite drug of choice. I do pop the occasional Benedryl to breathe during ragweed season. Eating & Design Blogs are my anesthesia. I need a new plan though to quote Huey Lewis. Eating is not especially productive, It's not like I'm doing wheat grass shots when I'm stressed. People with that thing called spare time, feel free to pray (for me).Thank you for your blog.
Thank you for all your authentic and brutally honest comments. I read recently that humans will leave one addiction and replace it with another one. My drug of choice would be nicotine if smoking was safe. Ahh...I love smoking...but I quit 16 months ago.So I replaced it with food, but now I have to replace that with a nasty drug called 'movement' a.k.a. 'exercise'.
What an interesting question. I take two antidepressants; I couldn't live without them. I used to worry about it, and worry about what people said about those drugs: that they are just helping me avoid my problems; I need to address the real issues, etc. Now I say, f*ck that noise. I know depression is a real disease. If something as simple, safe and cheap as a prescription drug can solve that many problems, why the hell wouldn't I take them?
Dear Anonymous (the most recent one),I think schools do kids a real disservice by preaching to them that drugs are bad.Pretty much anything can cause harm if misused. Hammers can kill, and so can water.....Drugs are bad if misused, but so are hammers.....The key is thoughtful, reasoned, purposeful use.Drugs are good -- when used properly.You've got nothing to apologize for, and I would never consider you an addict for using drugs the way they were intended to be used to ease your condition.
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