Friday, 12 December 2008

Things I Learned in 2008



I have been tagged by the incredible Corine of Hidden in France. Now before you skedaddle because you're afraid I might tag you - I invite you to stick around a few moments whilst I get extremely personal. You (and I) might learn a new thing or two about me.

Things I Learned in 2008
The Gallery of Goods:

* I did some difficult things this past year, but none as hard as quitting smoking. I love the taste of the warm smoke entering my throat and swirling into my lungs. I miss the emphasized & deep breath out, which also came with that 'high' of relief. The cigarette saved my stress, my thoughts, my sadness, my rage, my hopes, my happiness - all with one long drag. I quit cold turkey on March 17th (St. Patrick's Day). I did not plan this. It came as a complete shock to me. I just woke up and decided: That's it. Done. Come to think of it, I should go back now and read all my posts from that time period to see if I was a 'freak' or not. I cried for 2 weeks straight. I thought I was (literally) losing my mind. I pulled away from the world; my family, my friends, my co-workers - my dog. I had started smoking when I was 38 shortly after something very sad happened in my life. I used the daily pack as a mask to cover up my broken heart. I finally realized, 11 years later, that cigarettes a) do not change the past and b) do not make you thinner. I quit smoking in 2008. I never thought I could do it. But I did. And I am so very proud of myself. Do I miss them you ask? Yes. Will I smoke again? Yes. When I'm 80 and I can leisurely drink gin and tonic (with lots of lime) on my porch overlooking the water. (in a warm climate)

* This year showed me just how 'global' a citizen I truly am. I cared so deeply for the U.S. election process. It was riveting to me. I was so engaged, enraged and elated. I honestly believe that the type of government in America determines the fate of the entire world. This is not to say that I hold the citizens responsible for my future realities. I just know the power 'she' has to either make or break things and I thank you. Each and every one of you for electing Barack Obama.

* I have been surprised by my maturity as a Mother. I never thought I could let the apron strings loose enough to let a daughter go freely to a country far away. I've managed quite well thank you. (And she is having the experience of a lifetime) I have also been blessed by another grand baby and one more is on the way next week. I have remained calm and hopeful and silly all at the same time. Also, I never dreamed that I could handle the fact that 'my baby', who is now a 13 year old boy, is pulling ever-so-slightly away from me; as all teenage 'guys' do. I do sneak a prolonged hug and kiss on the cheek from him ever now and then.

* I have discovered that I can not and will not be employed by anyone. I can't do it. I must be completely unrestricted in my life. (Was I incarcerated in a past life? Was I a slave?) I have things to share with the world, but I must do it on my terms. I know 2009 will be my year. The year of great, great things. (It is the year I'm turning 50 after all) I hope to share much of my 'things' with all of you!

* Blogging has brought me more joy than I could ever put into words. I feel as though I have met my new best friends - and I'll even go so far as to say - new family members - through blogging.

* I still cannot knit. Much to the dismay of my Mother. Sorry Mom. We tried.

* I still am an excellent cook and baker. I just hate to do it, so I don't. Forgive me.

* I don't understand how - still in 2008 - 'we' can allow anyone on this planet to go hungry or thirsty. And what about their health? We must fix this now. I'll do my part.

* Because of the economic times, I've given up buying magazines. Now for those of you who know me, this is a devastating blow to the fabric of my soul. To the magazine industry: I apologize, but I had to cut back some where and this was my sacrifice. To the advertisers of the magazine industry: Don't worry, I still get fed. I steal magazines from doctor's offices and I hang out in the library to get my sick little fix.

* I figured out that my top snack is a short glass of Coke with lots of ice and pretzels dipped in roasted red pepper dip. Slurpy yummy goodness. Best eaten during the Y&R that I have watched since the very first episode (I'm not kidding) which was back in 1872.

* I want to be a 'great' photographer so much it aches. I want to write well for you and I want to be a darn good Cultural Producer - exposing people to the beauty of the arts, all over the world.

* I love winter again now that I am self-employed. I thank the universe for this because I live in Canada and it was getting pretty dicey the last few years. I would shout to God: 'Why! Why! Why!' when I was stuck (again) on the top of a mountain in a blizzard.

* I want to be a Jew. I want to convert. I have never, ever, ever shared this with anyone except my immediate family, who are finally coming around to this idea. (by the way, we do have Jews in our family) I cannot explain it, other than to say that I have always felt 'Jewish'. Always. Now, how to go about it...one does not know these things...will this be the year I do it....?..I'm pretty sure it is.

* I have not been to an art gallery in 2008 and that was a huge mistake.

* I adore Martha Stewart even more.

* This year was a year of challenging health. I went hyper-thyroid and then I went hypo-thyroid. I'm also chubby because of this (and from quitting smoking), but hey, it's slowly going...slowly. (Perhaps I should get up from this laptop once and a while...That might help. Duh.)

* I'm still a visual person. (no turning back now) I still love to learn and read and share and hug. Cake is still my favorite food group. I'm pulling away from meat. (don't know if this will last)

*Every now and then I get complete satisfaction from saying the word 'fuck'. No other word fills this void for me. Other than those times, I do have some class. I hope to say it less in 2009.

* I am so happy that I hung out with my parents a lot this past year. I love them.

* I could go on. (as you know) But in closing, I want 2009 to be the year of travel and learning and doing. Living life to the fullest (thinner). I know that sounds so damn cliche, but it's true.

Now, I am really, really hoping - I'm counting on you - that these bloggers will honour Corine's idea of this 'Tag Game' - and give up the goods....The Gallery of Goods.
Heck! Forget this! I want all of you to do it! Yes, You and you and you and you and you. Damn it.
And these Top 10 Talents (All Blogebrities) : (ahem...you know the drill)

Cote de Texas
Life in Red Shoes
Mackin Ink
At Home with The Farmer's Wife
Pia Jane Bijkerk
Absolutely Beautiful Things
Beach Bungalow 8
My Marrakesh
Elsa Mora
Carla Love Photography
p.s. Click on that top photo to witness a sweet, sweet face. Those eyes. Aw.



11 comments:

Carla said...

How lovely of you to tag me and also to find your blog. Fantastic perfect for me. I am off to Italy on Monday for two weeks but will try and pass the tag on. Thanks so much Carla

vicki archer said...

I loved learning more about you - a wonderful read and so very impressive that you quit smoking cold turkey, xv

beachbungalow8 said...

thank you for tagging me! wow. now I have to get cracking and thinking. this is a tag that I think will be quite cathartic.

corine said...

You're so full of life. I love it!

karey m. said...

oh, now this is a good one...

and how you want to write well for us and expose us to all the inspiration you've got? {i'm paraphrasing!}...i get that.

we get that. from you.

so thank you...do we tell you enough? probably not. xoxo. i will work on this.

Millie said...

Bravo & amen to that dear LP!! The most enjoyable of posts for all the right reasons.

Except you forgot one more thing - you must emigrate to Australia, we need you desperately!
Millie ^_^

Cote de Texas said...

Oy! Now that you are turning Jewish, I need to teach you Yiddish!!! I can help you with all that stuff.

Thanks for tagging moi. I will try to do this soon. But your was wonderful to read. Especially about the cigs.

lifeinredshoes said...

Oh Libby, you always make me THINK, and for this, I thank you. I would be honored to oblige, give me a day or 2. Red Shoes

Pamela Terry and Edward said...

So much fun to read!! And hearty congratulations on quitting smoking! That's huge!

Ivy Lane said...

Great post/read! Congratulations on quitting smoking! Bravo! I hope you completely forget that you smoked when you are 80 sitting on your back porch sipping gin and tonics with lots of lime...skip the cigarettes!

Here's to new things ahead and a fabulous 2009! You still have a few weeks left in 2008..now get yourself away from the lap top and over to an art gallery!! :)

mimi charmante said...

not only do i love this post for the inspiration it offers, but i love the links and where they take you.
i wish you the best in 2009 and thank you, for making me think of this coming year and what it has to offer~