Friday, 30 October 2009

The word 'no' hurts. It just plain hurts, but we are the ones who use it the most. We let the word 'no' seep into our society - because we have to and because we haven't figured out another word to replace it.

When we are little it's the only word we have to keep us safe. No, don't touch the stove. No, don't put that in your mouth. No, don't go near the road. No, don't climb up on that you could fall. We set the wheels in motion for a lifetime of 'No's'. We grow up believing that 'no' is a negative word.

No, you did not win. No, you didn't get the raise. No, you didn't get the job. No, you didn't pass. No, you're too fat to be a model. No, you're not smart enough. No, you don't have enough money. No, I don't want to be with you anymore. No, you didn't do that right.On the other hand, I think it's amazing to learn the word 'No.' It can liberate us. It is a positive word that can move us forward in our lives.

No, I won't settle for this. No, I will not quit. No, this isn't working so let's improve it. No, I think I have a better idea. No, I won't be disrespected. No, I won't accept that. No, I deserve to be free. No, I won't allow you to do that to me. No, I will not be discouraged by anyone. No, I will not leave you. No, I won't be controlled. No, let me try again. No, I'm not going to be overlooked anymore. No, I will succeed.

No is the word behind determination, persistence and vision. No does not create limitations, it opens doors. No makes you believe it can't be done. Actually the word 'no' gives you the opportunity to say 'why not?'. No is the secret word that lives in our heads. It can make or break you.

How has the word 'No' shaped you as a person?


lifeinredshoes said...

When I finally learned to say it to others, that's when it changed my life.
No- I won't do that for you.
No- My time is just as important as yours.
No- I am not going to play that game anymore.

sinnlighet said...

The winner takes it all....

This especially!

Love & peace from Agneta in Sweden

Laura in Paris said...

Hi, A friend has just told me you had given me the You Make Me Smile Award! Oh, I am confused! I am not sure I thanked you for it .. so, it's up in my blog, on the right side down, and I will be writing a post - and apologizing publicly soon!

Jan said...

Finely observed (as always)!

Kitty said...

"No!" is one of my favorite words. Sometimes I just say no for the fun of it! Once I became aware of my people pleasing proclivities, and allowed "No" into my vocabulary, I was able to rediscover my boundaries, and yes, the opportunities abounded. Time is my greatest treasure, and the word "NO" is the guardian of my riches.

Claire Kayser said...

As a parent, I find that so many kids are not used to hearing the word "no!" We are raising a generation of kids that don't know how to handle disappointment, things not going their way, and creating in them a great sense of entitlement. As young kids they pitch tantrums and don't learn how to deal with feelings of anger, disappointment, rejection, etc. It's our JOB as parents to teach our kids that things don't always go their way and to not protect them from the inevitable. It's a disservice to them and will certainly be a huge problem as they enter into adulthood. Teach them "no" NOW!

Thanks for this post, Patty! You ROCK!

Kitty said...

Claire Kayser is so right!

Jane Hall The Voice of Style said...

The word NO changed my life. It gave me power that I never knew I had. Being a single Mom always saying yes out of quilt and being the ultimate people pleaser, had enormous costs. Saying no, and drawing my line in the sand made me realize that I all that I needed was within myself. I have never felt so self empowered and the growth that I have experienced since then has been expedential.