Thursday 11 September 2008

I Never Cried This Much

It changed me. I was at the television studio. In a meeting. The TV was on in the board room. It was always on, even during meetings. When you work in television you get to watch TV all day and you don't get in trouble. I thought, who is this lucky? As I sat eating a sweet pastry I probably was thinking negative thoughts about my fat thighs or how weak I was for having an unhealthy breakfast. Insignificant thoughts. Useless thoughts. Meaningless. Of course, we were all so shocked to hear that a plane had 'accidentally' crashed into the World Trade Center. Then it went 'slo-mo'. Indeed it was as though we were in tape, rolling with the entire planet; ever so blurred. When the first building came down I put my face in my hands and rocked in my chair. I was told later that I had sobbed: 'Bush will never put up with this. Life as we know it was over.' The managing editor of our newsroom threw up in the corner. This man. Tough. Seen-it-all-and-more-news guy. Now weak. Pale. Heaving. Sweat. And then we were called into the Station Manager's office. I will never forget those souls. Ever. A common memory. A common story. I listen again to all the names. 95 nations and territories. It changed me. And that's not cliche. We never cried this much.

7 comments:

Suzanne said...

Yes.... I had a similar experience. I arose that morning and while driving to the office I said to myself, "This is absolutely the most beautiful day - ever". Little did I know that at that moment people were dying as the first plane hit the building. I was working for the local newspaper and like you, witnessed seasoned, tough-as-nails journalists weep.

I will never forget. Ever.

- Suzanne, the Farmer's Wife

Linda@ Lime in the Coconut said...

My Brother was there (and I in NY to visit him)...He saw...he ripped off his suit and tie..Afraid vans of terrorists would be looking for targets. He walked and walked. The thousand mile stare. He lost many friends and colleagues.

We watched the smoking embers from across the river. So many good good people gone. I still cry.

life in red shoes said...

I pray that we never forget.

Anonymous said...

I remember my mom yelling at me to come and see on the TV what was happening. I ran down to the living room and remember just standing there "holy crap, did that really happen? What are they doing? What can we do? What was that?". I remember that feeling of being totally shaken.

Pigtown*Design said...

I was in a board meeting at the charity where i worked. someone came in and told us the news that the first plane had hit. one woman's father worked in the WTC and the colour just drained from her face. It took two days before she could get in touch with him.

Driving home that afternoon, the city was absolutely silent. I was walking the dog that evening and someone said the local church was having mass for the lost souls. I took the dog in with me and he say quietly at my feet during the service.

We're only 45 miles from DC, so it was very close and real to us. Fighter jets screaming over for days... all so sad.

Oddly enough, on the way to work that morning, i was thinking that i hadn't been to NYC for a few months and that it would have been a perfect day to be there.

cotedetexas said...

I didn't know you worked for a tv company? what a great story!

corine said...

The shock was total and profound. Horrible.